YOU DID IT!
Hey you did it.
You’ve graduated college.
Not only did you graduate, but you did so with recognition of your hard work, academic ability, and involvement. I can’t believe that 16 years of education is over. Sometimes it feels like these past four years flew by, but other times I’m able to think about my personal growth over these four years and realize that DANG I’ve accomplished so much. I tend to not give myself enough credit, but lately I’ve been trying to get better at recognizing my achievements in all areas of my life and being proud of myself.
Even if I don’t know my next step, I’m worthy of knowing peace right where I am. I’m worthy of recognizing my strength and courage even if I’m in a transition phase. The past month I’ve been saying that after May 19th, my life is a big question mark. It’s sort of true, but step-by-step I’m figuring out what path is best for me. Here I am again, four years later, taking a leap of faith into the unknown. I’d like to say I’m better at facing the unknown without as much fear, but I think that fear still remains present. The difference is that I’m not going to let it overpower me and rule my thoughts. With the support of my family and friends, I’ve learned to trust in myself and in my future – good things are coming.
I recently revisited some of my earlier pieces of writing and wanted to share. The first is a note of gratitude for everything and everyone who has shaped me:
“I am so thankful to be where I am. I am so thankful that God led me here and led these people into my life. I’m so thankful for my mom, my dad, and my sister. I am so thankful. Just a few minutes ago I felt a wave of doubt cross my mind about college and not knowing what I’m doing with my life. Suddenly I realized that 1. No one really knows what their life is going to look like in 2 years and that 2. I am extremely lucky to be in a place that has stretched me, challenged me, and allowed my heart to be full. I miss home and I miss the comfort and familiarity of being at home with my parents, but I am thankful for everything that has propelled me to this moment. I’m thankful for my favorite elementary school teacher, Mrs. Tomalis, for being such a big part of my childhood. I’m thankful for those long afternoons at my elementary school wandering the halls as a staff kid, waiting impatiently for my mother to finish her duties as a teacher’s assistant. I am thankful for those terribly confusing middle school years where I spent months planning my locker décor while having a horribly unflattering haircut and trying to straighten my hair for the first time. I’m thankful for my difficult high school years with many laughs, many tears, and a lot of work to get me to where I am. I’m thankful for that awful summer spent on the couch recovering from jaw surgery, watching Friends and not being able to visualize myself thriving in college. I’m thankful for that day in Blaze pizza where I cried to my parents because I couldn’t eat a slice of pizza due to jaw pain and was terrified at the thought that I had to say goodbye to them. I am thankful for the bond that developed between my roommates that helped me laugh through the confusion of our first semester freshman year. I am thankful for how many times I had to sit by myself under palm trees and work through my emotions in order to make peace with them. I am thankful for the constant love sent from my parents. I am thankful for the lessons I learned during my first year here. I’m thankful for my appreciation of home despite my love of California. I’m thankful for the people that ask about how I’m doing. I’m thankful for the people from these past years that have somehow shaped me today. There’s so much to be thankful for, good and bad, positive and negative. Sometimes it just hits be and overwhelms me with appreciation and emotion that I have to stop doing my homework and write it all down.”
I would also like to revisit my post after my first week of college:
“I did it.
I've made it this far, but I still have a long way to go.
First day of classes I felt like a 5 year old walking around in my floral skirt and white converse (something I'm probably going to look back and laugh at).
Everyone looked so old, independent, and like they knew everybody. I think this is what frightened me the most.
I wanted to be at that stage - where I could walk past Starbucks and know 7 different people sitting outside, more than one of them calling out to me excitedly. I wondered to myself..."how do I get to that stage?" How am I possibly going to meet all these people and grow close to them?
Things will work out - I will find routine and I will find spontaneity. I just need to remember to never doubt myself or lose confidence. As I stare across the room at Julia's inspirational poster, I realize it's truth: "something beautiful is on the horizon."
You did it. You survived four years of college. You routinely passed by Starbucks and knew 7 different people sitting outside, and more than one of them would call out to you excitedly. Things worked out. They always seem to despite my doubts in the present moment. I’m so thankful for this time, and I hope to carry all the lessons I’ve learned with me into my next chapter. “Something beautiful is on the horizon.”
