Ciao Italia
The last entry. There's no way to capture 3 1/2 months of experiences, however here are some of my thoughts as the semester came to a close. I absolutely loved my time in Italy despite the inevitable challenges that come with change. I believe I have grown in so many ways that I might not even realize yet, but I'm so SO thankful for this opportunity and the memories I've created.
Well, I did it. I made it through the entire semester. Tomorrow my family arrives, and I am so ready to see them. I’m ready to feel automatically at ease and comfortable. I’m ready for all my nervous energy to go away. I’ve had such a great experience that has helped me grow and learn and experience things I could have never imagined. I’m ready to take all of that home with me.
I’m so thankful for being here and for everything I’ve been lucky enough to do and see. It blows my mind sometimes to think about how many countries I’ve visited and how many places I’ve seen. What I've realized is that this wasn’t necessarily a trip to make memories with others. It was a trip for myself and to prove to myself how strong, capable, and courageous I am. It was a trip to allow myself to take in the beauty of my surroundings and acknowledge all the beauty in the world. It was for ME to learn and grow. It wasn’t solely to make best friends for life, and it wasn’t to go to as many countries as possible. It was for me to slowly stretch my boundaries, try new things, learn more about myself, how I thrive, what I find important, and to understand that I can adapt.
I can exist in hard places.
Sometimes it got VERY hard. Panic attacks, sickness, loneliness, guilt, regret, anxiety, stress. It’s all human. It doesn’t go away when you travel to a new country. It exists and it’s okay. Feelings come and go, and negative emotions aren’t excluded. Don’t get me wrong, there were amazing moments as well. Pure awe, excitement, beauty, wonder, adventure, serenity, peace, happiness, laughter, dancing, singing, joy, human connection, hope. It was all there too. This beautiful journey allowed me to feel a range of emotions and better understand how all of them can exist at once, and that is okay.
I’m so thankful for my Italian women’s studies professor, Francesca, for believing in me and speaking my talents and goodness into existence. I appreciate her kind words and encouragement that extended after our semester ended. Her sincerity and kindness made such an impact on me. The relationship I was able to create with her as well as the bond strengthened with my pen pal, Ivana, made my Italian experience so rich and fulfilling. I am so thankful for them and their sincere impact on me. The friendships that were created throughout this experience are unlike any other, simply because we’ve been through an innumerable amount of dinners, train rides, and hikes up to Piazzale Michelangelo. I appreciate every person that I became close with during my time in Florence, and I am so thankful for that support system.
Ciao for now, Italia. I love you and I’m so grateful for all the challenges and beautiful moments you’ve given me.
