One Week

Well I've survived my first full week of college. I feel like I need to stop and applaud myself or eat some cake or something because I forget that it's a big deal. It's been so much go-go-go that I haven't really stopped and realized, I'm in college.

I did it.

I've made it this far, but I still have a long way to go.

First day of classes I felt like a 5 year old walking around in my floral skirt and white converse (something I'm probably going to look back and laugh at).

Everyone looked so old, independent, and like they knew everybody. I think this is what frightened me the most.

I wanted to be at that stage - where I could walk past Starbucks and know 7 different people sitting outside, more than one of them calling out to me excitedly. I wondered to myself..."how do I get to that stage?" How am I possibly going to meet all these people and grow close to them?

I have to remind myself, it's only been one week. You will meet new people grow close to people who aren't your roommates.

As I sit here in my empty dorm room, I feel pretty lonely at the moment.

I can't drive home to see my parents. I don't have a flock of friends that hit up frat parties each night.

But then I realize it's okay to be by myself every once in a while. My alone-ness is just highlighted by the constant sight of people together around me. It's highlighted by the pressing need to meet new people and experience things - the pressing need that I need to calm as I realize it's only been one week.

Things will work out - I will find routine and I will find spontaneity. I just need to remember to never doubt myself or lose confidence. As I stare across the room at Julia's inspirational poster, I realize it's truth: "something beautiful is on the horizon."